A Day in the Life

Anywhere from 7:00 to 10:00 AM: I get up and wake the humans if I have to. Then, I use the litter box, which is cleaner than what they do. I never sleep past 10, because of what comes next.

10:00 AM: Feeding time. That is 10:00 AM sharp. No dawdling. At that point, I haven’t eaten in twelve hours, so I am ravenous. My staff calls the period from 9 to 10 “hangry hour.” If you’re wondering what feeding time involves, take a look at the torture I have to go through.

10:15 AM: My tummy is not quite satisfied (they have me on a diet; I just know it), but it has food in it, so I can now relax. I enjoy watching the wildlife in the backyard or the small humans in the street.

12:00 PM: By this time, I need a nap. I prefer to do so in my sunbeam, but the bed or a couch woobie are decent alternatives.

2:00 PM: Hunger manifests itself again. I start counting down the minutes and bugging my humans in case I can wear them down into giving me food early.

4:00 PM: Feeding time. Finally.

4:15 PM: Now, I get to take my evening nap.

5:45 PM: On days the mama goes to work, she comes back just before this time, and this is when I get a pill and yummy treats. She is treated to first-rate purring for her trouble.

5:50 PM: I nap again, sometimes on a bed, sometimes on a couch to watch the bearded human cook and let the kitchen smell waft through my dreams.

Anywhere from 7:30 PM to 9:00 PM: Rise and shine! I play and harass the humans, which is often the same thing. This is usually the time I interact with Butterscotch the most, but we sometimes wrestle in the morning as well.

10:00 PM: Wet food time. As we know, this is my favorite. I absolutely love it, but it is a bittersweet experience because it has to tide me over until 10 in the morning.

Before bed: I receive my other treats, and these are fantastic. I make what my staff calls my “bird sound,” which is apparently the noise I make when I want to pounce and eat the birds I can see outside. This is adorable to their ears. Whatever.

And then, I go to bed, making sure to stay warm by getting close to the humans. Sleeping all night helps pass the time until I can eat again and, really, that’s what it’s all about.

Did someone say my name?

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