Cats, Humans, and Water

Cats and humans have a starkly different approach when it comes to water. We only truly need it to satisfy our thirst, but they have put it to a wide range of different uses that confound the feline mind. Let’s explore these.

First, humans also drink water, but they do it in the most complicated way possible. They run pipes through the walls of their houses (I was freaked out when I researched this) to bring water to a faucet. Instead of licking the stream as any self-respecting animal would do, they use glasses to catch the liquid and bring it to their mouths. Sometimes, they even store it in pitchers and other containers. Why can’t they just pour it in a bowl like they do for us?

Then, they use water instead of artificial sand for their potty needs. What could be more elegant than burying one’s dumpings in a litter box, like a noble recreation of our wild ancestors’s behavior? This keeps us close to nature and our environment. Why would you waste water by pooping in it?

Finally, our bipedal staff uses it to clean themselves and their belongings. They stand under their own private waterfall and scrub their bodies. What’s wrong with saliva? It’s much cleaner. I keep trying to show my humans how to groom, but it’s hard to fight decades of reinforcement.

See? Grooming.

I am personally obsessed with the great life-giver. What confuses me the most is the brushing of the teeth, because afterwards humans suck up water and spit it back out multiple times. My bearded human even rumbles it in the back of his throat, a process called gargling, and that is weirdest of all. I think it might be a secret code they use to communicate without us knowing about it. It must be how they plan all those vet visits behind our backs.

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