Constant Condescension

People think because I’m a cat, I don’t understand the words coming out of their mouths. They talk down to me or use bad syntax because they figure it doesn’t matter. In truth, it does matter, because it makes them look like fools.

Sure, it can be entertaining. Watching humans act dumb is always fun. In this instance, I find it insulting, because they assume I’m the one who’s not so smart. What do I mean by condescension? You must be familiar with the dreaded baby speech. That’s how they speak to me most of the time. They keep calling me a baby, too, even though I’m almost two.

The bearded human regularly asks, “The baby want the food?” That’s an improper conjugation, but somehow it’s acceptable because I’m a cat. It’s even worse when they call me a good boy. What am I, a dog? Let me chew on your blanket; we’ll see who’s a good boy then.

Oh well. I can turn to the Internet for more scintillating conversation. That’s where the secret cat network is.

Secret cat what?

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