I Am NOT Handsome!

Well yes, I am, but it has nothing to do with that gaudy contraption! How would you like to wear a rug?

It appears to be a necessary evil, as the humans will not let me out of the house without it, and if I cannot go outside, how will I ever patrol my territory?

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Or catch these pesky beasts that keep running around my yard? They seem to steer well clear of my space when I am out and about, but one day I will get them. One day, when the human is not giving away my position by standing right behind me. And I will get to eat those strange shells too! My developed sense of smell can tell there is a tasty treat inside. Why do the humans leave them out for the wildlife without giving me any? This is no way to live.

For now, I must endure the shame of wearing this vest and the rope that goes with it. Only by playing along will I eventually get my opportunity.

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